Sunday, March 2, 2014

Went further and got closer

Day -5 to D-day

'Jaanu, did you take your tiffin?' sweetly enquired Piyu..
'Grrr..', I thought. 'Yes, darling', I replied automatically.

'Here she goes again nannying over me.. Oh well.. Just a few more days and I'll be out of here for one whole year.. WITHOUT her! Phew!!

Two years ago when I got married to my girlfriend of 5 years I did not know I was marrying an SPD victim. For the uninitiated SPD is Split - Personality Disorder. This was much worse as the second personality stuck on :(. My girlfriend Piyu was never this clingy, this fawny, this fussy. It was like an overnight transformation! - which I have started hating over a period of time. She is like everywhere.. literally everywhere.. in my cupboards, in my files, in my laptop, in my socks, in my kitchen, in my dabba, in my thoughts.. but she is slowly fading away from my heart.

It appeared that God had decided to sympathise with me. He sent me an opportunity to get away from her clutches through my work. My company had transferred me to its London branch. The package included relocation of my family but I gladly hid this fact from Piyu. With a sad face (a bit over-exaggerated and I don't think she bought it!) I told her that she would be able to join me only after a year of my joining the London office. I remember that day vividly. I was actually just waiting to be on the other side of the whole declaration ordeal.

All horror broke loose after I announced my transfer. First came the emotional blackmail - how can you, what will I do, you promised never to leave me, will you be able to live without me, you don't love me? Then came orders - leave the job, bargain with the boss, refuse to go. Then came threats - I'll divorce you, I'll go away to Chandigarh, I'll kill you. Frankly speaking my heart skipped a happy beat when I heard the first of the threats but it was short-lived. Predictably the tears started and continued into the night till next morning. Finally acceptance! Ah! We got there. The last obstacle overcome!

 D-day

Tonight was my flight to freedom.. err.. London and I couldn't wait to set my foot inside the airport where my naggy wife would not be accompanying me. This was to be the last time, at least for a year, that she would be reminding me to take my tiffin. I was so happy that I almost kissed her. Almost.

That night I made all the right noises at Liberty's doorstep. My parents came down from Lucknow and her parents from Chandigarh to see me take off from Mumbai airport. Once done, I literally escaped! There was this sweet freedom (can't help using the word again and again!), peace, solitude, discovery, independence to savour for one whole year! Yipee! I did a happy skip before boarding my British Airways flight to London.

One month on

Oh Freedom! you lovely sexy lady! Where have you been, huh? I've been looking for you for so long! Stay with me baby...mmmmmm..

Two months on

As I was taking out the trash this morning, I greeted my neighbours over the fence who were enjoying their Sunday out on the patio. The wife had made some hot buns and the husband was smoking away at a cigar. It was such a mundane scene that it took me by surprise. I had a flash of, well, loneliness! I put it down to Sunday sundries. After all, here I am! All alone and enjoying it! What's with this sudden smushy feeling? I mean I talk to Piyu everyday so I don't know where this is coming from. It'll pass

Three months on

Some colleagues got together to visit a desi restaurant today which was known for its butter chicken. The minute I tasted it I blurted out that it was nowhere near as good as Piyu's! A second accident happened while getting home. I saw a pretty brunette who looked exactly like Piyu. I returned home angry thinking that Piyu must be doing some black magic.

Three months, three days later

As I left my empty apartment empty-handed I felt a twinge of nostalgia. I almost missed having Piyu calling out to me. 'I must be going mad', I thought to myself. That day I spoke to Piyu a bit longer than my customary 2 minutes. Almost like 20 minutes before she asked me to hang up.

Three months, four days later

The next day I got myself invited to a colleague's house - a hearty Punjabi like me! I really wanted to check out his other half (well not in the way you think!) about whom he used to bitch all day at work! Well, we men have a right to bitch too! As we sat at the dinner table I watched the twosome and I admit I felt a pang of jealousy! That idiot colleague of mine was just making all the guy noises, bitching about his wife! He actually loved his wife so much that I could almost smell it! The way he praised her, held her hand, looked up to her, teased her, helped her.. it was so much in tandem, so much in rhythm, so much in love. Suddenly came the full blast realisation that I missed Piyu! I missed my clingy, fawny, fussy wife! Suddenly I had better synonyms for these words all of a sudden - caring, loving and sensitive!

That very moment I decided to give my lovely wife a surprise!

Three months, five days later

I was at the British Airways office booking a one-way plane ticket for her. I was going to fetch her! I couldn't wait to see the surprise on her face. I asked a friend of ours to go home and drive her to the airport under the pretext of welcoming a pal returning from abroad. Meanwhile, our friend's wife packed Piyu's luggage and got it to the airport.

When I saw my wife, I sprouted tears before she could! It was not a moment to be embarrassed of. Instead I rejoiced! I was with my better half, my loving, sweet, sensitive wife and I was taking her back with me, where she belonged.

The following day as I was leaving for office, I heard her sweet voice reverberating throughout our home - 'Jaanu, did you take your tiffin?' to which I replied 'Yes darling' and added a silent thank you.